When I was a kid I hated everything…and I mean everything! The only thing I would eat without being threatened was corn on the cob or spinach. (I know weird right). My mom would tell me every single day “little girl, you cannot leave the table until you eat…do you understand me?” “uh huh!” I would say as I sat there with my mouth full of food that I had been holding in my jaws for what seemed like an eternity. This was my daily dinner time ritual. My brothers were happily running around outside playing football, baseball or riding their bikes while I sat at the table looking like a damn….
Hours would pass and like clockwork mom would return every 30 minutes to repeat “little girl, do you think I’m playing with you? I have all the time in the world, you don’t eat – you stay inside!” Until finally one day my dad came home from work early and saw me slumped on the table resting my head on one arm and my fork in the other hand while I’m knocked out sleep!
“Honey!” he said “why is Dee sitting here at the table with a mouth full of food, sleep and drooling on her arm?” “Because I told her, she can’t go back outside until she eat the Damn food, and that’s what I mean!” As you can imagine I’m really pouring on the puppy dog eyes for my daddy and it’s working too! He whispers to me, “go ahead and go outside baby I’ll eat and pretend that you did, okay?”
“Okay” daddy, sniff sniff, I’ve been in here all day; mommy is really being mean to me”. As soon as I turned around from the kitchen trash can spitting out all of the food that I had packed into my mouth; I see you guessed it my mom standing there with her hands on her hips looking at both me and my dad like she could just slap the hell out of both of us.
The only thing that kept me from getting into more trouble was that my daddy took all of the blame for our deception. I could hear momma fussing all the way down the street as I was skipping to the corner store to buy me some junk food with the dollar my daddy gave me to make me feel better. 🙂
I often wonder why mom didn’t just feed me corn and spinach everyday and skip the drama?